Teachers are actually quite intelligent, contrary to what might be said in those angry rants we’ve all listened to (and perhaps given) in the cafeteria. However, I find it hard to reconcile their intelligence with their inability to efficiently use that piece of witchcraft nesting in the corner of the room: the computer. You know how it is; they approach that machine and suddenly they’re cowboys on the frontiers of human knowledge and innovation, riding off into the sunset with their big ol’ ten-gallon hats, crackin’ wise and wonderin’ when the rodeo’s “comin’ to town.” Whoa, Nelly.
In all seriousness, for some teachers, using a computer really is like stepping out into the Wild West. It’s dangerous out there, and the inexperienced are oh-so-easily swept away in the grandness and complexity of it all. While the creative possibilities are endless, the ability to harness this raw power just isn’t there. Watching some teachers use the computer makes me cry—and even pee a little, like my dog does when I scare her awake at night.
The excruciating process of trying to pull up a video goes something like this:
*Clicks Google search bar, types youtube.com*
*Clicks “Search”*
Just press Enter…please.
*Clicks and drags scroll bar*
Just use the scroll wheel.
*Clicks link to YouTube*
Now you’re clicking a link to YouTube?! COULD’VE JUST FOUND IT AT THE TOP OF THE GOOGLE PAGE!
*Clicks and drags scroll bar*
JUST. USE. THE. SCROLL. WHEEL. ARGHHHHHH
That’s how it is. Every. Single. Time. Granted, these people were born before our time, and I do applaud their parents for being smart because, as a friend once said in a moment of philosophical enlightenment, U.S. History was definitely easier back then.
Then again, not all teachers are inept at using this new-fangled technology. In fact, I’m having a hard time recalling the last time I saw such atrocious use of the computer. So, if you’re a teacher, I sincerely hope you’ve read this far before deciding to grab pitchforks and hunt me down and my slightly moist underwear. If anything, I hope I’ve made you a bit more self-conscious the next time you decide to use the computer because – know this – I will be watching.