The school dynamic shifts every year as graduates leave for college, students move up a grade, and a new wave of freshmen arrives. Once school starts, the hallways transform into a stage for the first impressions that will shape how students view each other: the upperclassmen are confident, towering figures who weave through the crowd, and the freshmen are wide-eyed newcomers clutching their schedules. The fleeting moments of hesitant glances and silent judgements have already set the tone for the remainder of the year. As a result, many students have chosen the “safest” option of staying with friends in their own grade and avoiding peers in other grade levels.
Even as the student body changes, the underlying divide between upperclassmen and underclassmen within the high school hierarchy persists. We tend to overemphasize the age difference and continue to underestimate the immense value of forming inter-grade relationships. Given the many benefits, such as gathering meaningful advice and reflecting on past experiences, students need to take the initiative to connect with peers across various grade levels.
As new students enter high school, many of us lack familiarity with one another and are forced to characterize our peers based on surface-level perceptions. To younger students, the upperclassmen seem intimidating and unapproachable because they’re experienced in the school environment and know where they belong. “If I were to be completely honest, the upperclassmen are scary. They’re more mature and are comfortable with what they’re doing,” freshman Valarie Chen said. As many underclassmen are still trying to discover their interests, older students can seem distant and difficult to relate to.
The upperclassmen tend to perceive the underclassmen as immature and less experienced since they’re younger and don’t understand the pace of high school. Some older students tend to be dismissive of underclassmen, believing they have few shared experiences to bond over. “This disconnect makes students feel like there is no need to talk to those in lower grades,” junior Maya Millman said. Ultimately, these inaccurate perceptions create hesitation about reaching out to upperclassmen and forming new relationships with those beyond their immediate friend group.
However, the nature of a relationship between upper and underclassmen can actually be symbiotic. Adjusting to high school life is difficult for many underclassmen, as they’re in a new environment and face higher expectations. In these moments of stress, having an older student serve as a mentor to give advice and suggestions makes a profound difference. “They [upperclassmen] provide academic advice on courses they have already taken and on high school life in general,” said freshman Sofia Gurtman. Especially since the underclassmen are new to the school, talking with students who have more experience can make the transition into high school much easier. By hearing about past experiences with certain teachers and classes, the underclassmen can feel better equipped for what lies ahead and may gain an advantage over their peers.
Whether you believe it or not, befriending younger students is just as beneficial for the upperclassmen. Inter-grade friendships not only allow upperclassmen to feel a sense of accomplishment from helping others, but also encourage them to reflect on themselves and gain new perspectives. “Helping the underclassmen isn’t just about giving advice,” senior Anishka Arolkar explained. “It also makes you reflect on yourself and how much you’ve grown. Plus, hearing their perspectives always reminds me to stay open-minded and keep learning.” Some of the upperclassmen are simply nostalgic for a time when they were still taking their first AP test or attending their first school sports game. Talking to younger students is a reminder of past experiences through a different lens.
Additionally, by staying in touch with underclassmen, students can remain informed about school events and major changes even after they graduate. Many alumni remain curious about how the high school has evolved and grown since their time there. By maintaining these connections, older students can relive some of their favorite memories and stay engaged with the community that shaped their experiences and future paths.
Generally, there aren’t many instances of interactions between upper and underclassmen on a daily basis. Aside from brief encounters in the hallways, clubs and sports create a suitable space for students in all grades to interact and work together. Regularly spending time after school with students who share similar interests fosters a comfortable environment for bonding, regardless of age. For Anishka, most of her underclassmen friends come from her involvement in theatre. “Since theatre isn’t divided by grade, you naturally end up working with people from all classes,” Anishka said. “When you’re rehearsing together for hours on end, you can’t help but bond.” As a result, participating in school activities and taking the initiative to talk to others is instrumental to building connections across grades—connections that may not be able to form within the boundaries of a traditional classroom.
At the end of the day, every student has the choice to decide who to approach, talk with, and open up to. If we’re too stubborn to look beyond the grade boundaries, we may just end up missing out on making a lifetime friend. Therefore, by working to engage with peers from different grades through school activities and clubs students can make lasting impressions on others and work collectively to forge a more welcoming school community at Great Neck South.
